Warning: this is a weird post. I don't really believe what I'm writing, but the truth is, it's quite often the story I'm living. So while I'd like to tell you it's a witty tongue-in-cheek indictment of popular culture, I'm painfully aware of how often my actions suggest I believe this stuff more that I want to. All right, you've been warned. Gloves are off. Welcome to my mixed up world.
Mindfulness is all the rage these days. It seems everywhere you turn you'll hear about it.
I've tried being mindful, and I admit there are perks. But I think we need to stop being so hard on mindlessness, it has its benefits too. Being mostly unaware and not paying attention to what's going on around you can really pay off. Besides, it's just too much work to be mindful. How can anything good require that much practice or dedication?
And maybe I'm the only one who feels this way, but....
I like being distracted.
I like not being present.
The past and the future can be such pleasant escapes from the terrible present moment.
Maybe I don't want to be here, in this moment okay? Maybe this moment sucks compared to what happened two weeks ago when I was on vacation, or next week when I bite into a juicy steak. Is it really so bad if I escape the boredom of everyday life by checking out, and playing a mindless game on my cell phone instead?
Now some of you might be taking me for a fool - but think about this - when you try to be fully present what happens? Exactly, you find your mind wandering off to someplace else. Maybe it's because this moment really isn't so grand after all? Why don't we just give our minds what they want: permission to wander wherever they see fit rather than always trying to bring our attention back to stupid things like breathing and body sensations and the eternal "now".
Instead of getting so caught up in the gifts of the present, let's think just for a moment about all the bounty that comes with being mindless.
So here are the gifts of not being present. With a little fanfare I now present to you: "the gifts of mindlessness".
1. Being mindless allows me to consume more. Have you ever tried eating slowly and paying attention to your food? Yikes, I can only eat half of what I normally stuff down my gut. How am I supposed to make it to dessert if I'm too full from the entree because I was too busy savouring the bites in my mouth? As Lenin once said, "quantity has a quality all it's own". Or, as the glorious chefs at Hungry Man TV dinners claim, "it's good to be full". I appreciate that some prefer small bits that are savoured, but let's not forget how pleasant and powerful gluttony can feel. If I was just eating to survive, or even just for the pleasure of the food itself, I can see how mindfulness would be helpful. But I'm a North American, and lots of my choices are expressions of my power and privilege. I eat and I waste to prove to myself and others just how rich and powerful I am. Gluttony is an affirmation of my superiority and dominance over the poor and disenfranchised. If I want to drive a Hummer to show everyone that excessive burning of fossil fuels is my privilege, than so be it. Someday when you have access to more credit than is good for you, you can choose to be wasteful too. Remember what our world leaders said when the economies crashed in 2008? Go shopping. Consume. Spend money. We have a culture based on consumption and waste. If we start paying attention and valuing what we have, bad things are going to happen. It's just not patriotic to think too much about this kind of thing. And all this talk of paying attention is a big barrier to my thoughtless exploitation of the world's resources and people.
2. Mindlessness gives us the ability to multitask. If I have to be fully present with this moment, I can't be checking my phone, watching tv, eating, and parenting all at the same time. Look, I'm sure present moment awareness is amazing, but who can tolerate its inefficiency? Meditation and retreats are a beautiful luxury for hipsters and artsies, but the rest of us don't have time for that! If I'm not doing at least two things at once, there's going to need to be at least two of me in the world to squeeze all my productivity into one 24hr day. Has anybody thought through the economic implications of being single focused?. And how could I possibly consume the media content I enjoy if I'm only doing one thing at a time? Right now as I write this, I have five tabs open on my browser. One tab is playing music from YouTube (I'm really digging Billy Joel's classical music) Two tabs are still open from some shopping I'm doing in between sentences. One tab has my email open. And of course my cell phone will likely go off soon with calls from patients. I am a lean mean multitasking machine because Lord Steve Jobs has created such a wonderful tool. Think of all the limits on production and consumption we would place on ourselves if we stopped doing so many things at once. I don't want to do less. The world needs more of me and I of it. And multitasking is the venue to make that happen. So what if it raises my blood pressure? Isn't being hyper-vigilant worth it?
3. But of all the greatness of mindlessness, the benefit I favour most is the ability it gives me to check-out. If I don't want to be here, I'm really good at being somewhere else. The other day I was watching a YouTube video and one of those ads came on - you know, the one's they don't allow you to skip. It was about orphans in Africa. Truly upsetting, the kind of images that stick in your head and pop back up when you're trying to sleep. But sweet mindlessness came to my rescue. Rather than getting sucked into that super downer ad, I just went somewhere else in my head. Normally I could just check who's endorsed me this week on LinkedIn, but my phone wasn't on the couch and getting up was going to be too much effort. Last week mindlessness let me go on a charity walk to raise money for homeless people without even thinking about homelessness, or noticing the homeless people we probably passed on the walk. Instead I got to tell people about the swanky beach we visited recently.
But I don't just want to check out from boredom, I have bigger things to avoid. So here's my problem with being mindful. It's just too painful. If I'm going to really pay attention to the world around me, I'm going notice that our civilization is a bit of a train wreck. I live in the comfortable part of the world so it's not nearly as messy as the reality some people would have to be present with. But my inner world isn't necessarily a walk on the beach either. If you've read this blog, you might get a sense of how gross and selfish I can be in my heart and mind. Who wants to be present with that? Let's just move along and not spend too much time naval gazing to notice all the dark bits of me that hide out or are unobserved.
And the sadness I feel from listening to people's suffering all day long? No thanks. I'm not going to stick around with that any more than I have to. Give me the sweet distractions of being preoccupied with the super important things like trying to figure out whether the Packers should draft a linebacker or a tight end in the draft next month. There's a reason why people immerse themselves in the awesome worlds of Angry Birds, Bejewelled, Tetris, Minesweeper, and the like - because nobody wants to think about the heavy shit of reality after working all day and being a parent. If I want to feel something, I'll let Netflix take care of it thank you very much. They let me pick what I'm going to feel or not feel. And if I'm going to be disturbed by something like House of Cards (so dark, yet so enticing), Netflix allows me to keep it all in the land of make belief where it's not real. I can even turn it off or switch to something drole if it starts to feel a little too much.
Mindfulness, you're a nice hobby. I'll keep you in my back pocket with Yoga and prayer for when things get tough and I need a tool to help me get through.
Mindlessness, you're still my go-to gal. We make a great team in living the life everyone tells me I'm supposed to live. You keep me multitasking and distracted in a world of pain and chaos. You help me be the kind of producer and consumer that keeps the economy ticking along. Besides, after all these years together, how could I leave you now? A mindless life is so normal, so comfortable, so familiar. Yeah there are big problems in world, but why would I think I'm so important that I should try to do anything about them? There are lots of other more talented people who can take care of it. Me, I'll just keep my nose down, my iPod on, and multiple tabs open on my browser. It's easier that way. Don't fight it. Just go with the sweet mindless flow.
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