If you have trouble recognizing the risen Christ....
Take heart, it seems that just about no one who was actually there did either. After reading the four gospel accounts this morning I notice that while the accounts are fairly varied on their details, they all seem to emphasize the difficulty people had recognizing Jesus.
The eyes of expectation make it difficult to see sometimes.
We think we're seeing the world "realistically" and in the process miss important things. It seems that none of the visitors to empty tomb expected him to be alive. Dead bodies just don't do that, and I suspect that we scientifically minded folk would find the idea of resurrection even more impossible than the people in the scripture stories. But it happened that day, and people who knew him and loved him couldn't, "see for looking" as the old phrase goes.
Despair does that to us.
It tells us what is and isn't possible. Despair shapes our perception so strongly that we have trouble seeing things any other way. Despair tells us that the promises made to us are too good to be true. Despair tells us that we are seeing the world for how it really is. Despair makes it hard to believe a story about a resurrected Messiah, and leads us to wonder if just maybe the wishful thinking of ancient Hebrews got them telling a story about Jesus that gives hope but couldn't have actually happened.
Despair causes us to miss the signs of resurrection in our own lives.
I don't know much about physical resurrection of dead bodies. But I do know this - people come back to life emotionally and spiritually on a regular basis. Ordinary folks have the most extraordinary stories of coming back to life from loss, addiction, suffering, trauma, and personal brokenness. When we consent to it, God changes us.
I live in Southern Ontario - where Easter mostly happens during cold and dreary days of a spring that promises to come but hasn't yet shown up. When we use the rebirth of natural life as a metaphor for resurrection at Easter, it can be rather unconvincing for us as we scrape frost from the windshield and put on warm winter clothes. But where eyes cannot see, a reality is occurring beyond vision. And the despair of a bleak and chilly Easter morning is quelled only when we remember that resurrection is the unstoppable promise of a God who is difficult to recognize at times.
This morning, may you recognize the signs of resurrection. Whether it be joyful music or a gentle stillness that reminds you - death is not the final answer. The parts of you that seem as dead as the trees and grass are waiting to burst forth with life! Don't allow your expectations about how the world "works" to cause you to miss the miraculous unfolding of hearts and minds and lives that are being brought back to life. This victory over death is so much bigger than a physical resurrection. It is the promise that new life is possible in the most unlikely of circumstances.
Sunday, March 27, 2016
Thursday, March 17, 2016
Walls, Uncertainty, Vulnerability, and Donald Trump
Remember when God was simple, clear, definable, predictable?
The world is so uncertain. And as I've grown up and discovered that God defies my categories and concepts, I've felt liberated and yet...I also find this mysterious Divine presence doesn't give me the certainty I long for.
Remember when God fit into the neat and tidy packages of our dogma and theology?
Mostly I'm glad to have left that behind. But some days I miss it.
I miss the God I could wrap my head around because John Piper and John MacArthur had distilled him into a nice systematic, consumable product with all the proof texts to boot. I miss the domesticated Jesus who took care of my sin problem and was my convenient friend. I miss being able to draw up the world into good guys and bad guys and believe that if only the right politician were elected they would set things right.
I think I understand why people would love Donald Trump. For a passing moment, I even wish that I could squeeze my consciousness back into that little box and believe that the Donald really could fix everything. I find myself less judgemental and more compassionate to him and his followers when I realize the fantasy they embrace is so utterly human in the face of so much uncertainty.
I think I understand why people would love Donald Trump. For a passing moment, I even wish that I could squeeze my consciousness back into that little box and believe that the Donald really could fix everything. I find myself less judgemental and more compassionate to him and his followers when I realize the fantasy they embrace is so utterly human in the face of so much uncertainty.
Grey is such a hard color to live in. Black and white might be a stark reality, but at least you know what's what. And walls...whether they be the physical ones Trump wants to build, or the psychological ones we all find so attractive when we categorize the world into us and them, or good and bad...well it's not so hard to see why people might be willing to swallow what he says.
Just like the all those people voting in the republican primaries, I miss the security of living behind walls of false certainty.
The world is so uncertain. And as I've grown up and discovered that God defies my categories and concepts, I've felt liberated and yet...I also find this mysterious Divine presence doesn't give me the certainty I long for.
A mysterious world, and an even more mysterious God, bring with them enormous vulnerability.
In captivity for speaking out against the communist state, Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn said this:
“If only it were all so simple! If only there were evil people somewhere insidiously committing evil deeds, and it were necessary only to separate them from the rest of us and destroy them. But the line dividing good and evil cuts through the heart of every human being. And who is willing to destroy a piece of his own heart?”
It's easy to look at the primaries with a streak of righteous indignation and see ourselves as above falling for the same tricks. But the hard truth is that followers of the Donald are not so because they are stupid, bigoted, or ignorant Americans. We would love such an explanation to be true! They are followers because they are so deeply human, just like us. They are reacting to a message that promises solutions to the things they fear. Donald Trump's resonance is the false certainty he offers. That he is never required to support or justify his certainty is further proof of how desperate people are for it. All he has to do is shout it and seem credible, and at least some of the populace will believe, no matter what contradictions it may otherwise stir up. Yet it's easy for us who think of ourselves as smarter than all of that to construct our own false certainties behind our walls of progressivism.
But what if Solzhenitsyn is correct? What if the line of good and evil runs through our hearts? What if no wall can protect us from what lives within us? What if walls only serve to obscure the reality of evil inside of us? What if false certainties, like a kind of psychological wall, can never protect us from ourselves and never rescue us from the terrifying truth that life and God are uncertain?
Faith - this belief in things not perceived - is hard, and not always a comfort. False certainty feels more comfortable so long as it's the one we find appealing. But embracing uncertainty, which is what I now think faith is, is not so much a quick bit of reassurance or comfort. Instead, it offers us a challenge. We can demand that the world be as we see it - in black in white or simple terms. Or, we can dare to believe that this uncomfortable, disquieting, mysterious, uncertain, grey way of seeing the world is a better reflection of how God and her creation really are.
Donald Trump and his followers are not people of any kind of faith. They may be religious yes, but theirs (and so often mine) is a world view that replaces faith with its direct opposite: false certainty.
But in them I see a sisterhood and brotherhood of humanity as we all attempt to grapple with the deep vulnerability we are confronted with as we live in the mysterious and uncertain nature of God and his universe. We cannot hate them, because we find kinship with them in those same utterly human mistakes we all make when faced with vulnerability.
It seems so simple that it may sound trite, but there is only one way I trust to respond to the swell of support for this candidate. We must meet the fear and vulnerability that comes with uncertainty, with love. We must find new ways each day to love each other generously. For only love can drive out fear. We must look at the line that Solzhenitsyn says "runs through our hearts" and choose love instead of evil. We must choose to tear down walls of self protection and risk love, even for those who seem to be our political enemies. It is only in loving that we will find ourselves free from false certainties and the fear that attracts us to them. And it is in loving like this, that we encounter, but do not solve the mystery of an uncertain God.
Faith - this belief in things not perceived - is hard, and not always a comfort. False certainty feels more comfortable so long as it's the one we find appealing. But embracing uncertainty, which is what I now think faith is, is not so much a quick bit of reassurance or comfort. Instead, it offers us a challenge. We can demand that the world be as we see it - in black in white or simple terms. Or, we can dare to believe that this uncomfortable, disquieting, mysterious, uncertain, grey way of seeing the world is a better reflection of how God and her creation really are.
Donald Trump and his followers are not people of any kind of faith. They may be religious yes, but theirs (and so often mine) is a world view that replaces faith with its direct opposite: false certainty.
But in them I see a sisterhood and brotherhood of humanity as we all attempt to grapple with the deep vulnerability we are confronted with as we live in the mysterious and uncertain nature of God and his universe. We cannot hate them, because we find kinship with them in those same utterly human mistakes we all make when faced with vulnerability.
It seems so simple that it may sound trite, but there is only one way I trust to respond to the swell of support for this candidate. We must meet the fear and vulnerability that comes with uncertainty, with love. We must find new ways each day to love each other generously. For only love can drive out fear. We must look at the line that Solzhenitsyn says "runs through our hearts" and choose love instead of evil. We must choose to tear down walls of self protection and risk love, even for those who seem to be our political enemies. It is only in loving that we will find ourselves free from false certainties and the fear that attracts us to them. And it is in loving like this, that we encounter, but do not solve the mystery of an uncertain God.
Friday, March 4, 2016
In praise of mindlessness
Warning: this is a weird post. I don't really believe what I'm writing, but the truth is, it's quite often the story I'm living. So while I'd like to tell you it's a witty tongue-in-cheek indictment of popular culture, I'm painfully aware of how often my actions suggest I believe this stuff more that I want to. All right, you've been warned. Gloves are off. Welcome to my mixed up world.
Mindfulness is all the rage these days. It seems everywhere you turn you'll hear about it.
I've tried being mindful, and I admit there are perks. But I think we need to stop being so hard on mindlessness, it has its benefits too. Being mostly unaware and not paying attention to what's going on around you can really pay off. Besides, it's just too much work to be mindful. How can anything good require that much practice or dedication?
And maybe I'm the only one who feels this way, but....
I like being distracted.
I like not being present.
The past and the future can be such pleasant escapes from the terrible present moment.
Maybe I don't want to be here, in this moment okay? Maybe this moment sucks compared to what happened two weeks ago when I was on vacation, or next week when I bite into a juicy steak. Is it really so bad if I escape the boredom of everyday life by checking out, and playing a mindless game on my cell phone instead?
Now some of you might be taking me for a fool - but think about this - when you try to be fully present what happens? Exactly, you find your mind wandering off to someplace else. Maybe it's because this moment really isn't so grand after all? Why don't we just give our minds what they want: permission to wander wherever they see fit rather than always trying to bring our attention back to stupid things like breathing and body sensations and the eternal "now".
Instead of getting so caught up in the gifts of the present, let's think just for a moment about all the bounty that comes with being mindless.
So here are the gifts of not being present. With a little fanfare I now present to you: "the gifts of mindlessness".
1. Being mindless allows me to consume more. Have you ever tried eating slowly and paying attention to your food? Yikes, I can only eat half of what I normally stuff down my gut. How am I supposed to make it to dessert if I'm too full from the entree because I was too busy savouring the bites in my mouth? As Lenin once said, "quantity has a quality all it's own". Or, as the glorious chefs at Hungry Man TV dinners claim, "it's good to be full". I appreciate that some prefer small bits that are savoured, but let's not forget how pleasant and powerful gluttony can feel. If I was just eating to survive, or even just for the pleasure of the food itself, I can see how mindfulness would be helpful. But I'm a North American, and lots of my choices are expressions of my power and privilege. I eat and I waste to prove to myself and others just how rich and powerful I am. Gluttony is an affirmation of my superiority and dominance over the poor and disenfranchised. If I want to drive a Hummer to show everyone that excessive burning of fossil fuels is my privilege, than so be it. Someday when you have access to more credit than is good for you, you can choose to be wasteful too. Remember what our world leaders said when the economies crashed in 2008? Go shopping. Consume. Spend money. We have a culture based on consumption and waste. If we start paying attention and valuing what we have, bad things are going to happen. It's just not patriotic to think too much about this kind of thing. And all this talk of paying attention is a big barrier to my thoughtless exploitation of the world's resources and people.
2. Mindlessness gives us the ability to multitask. If I have to be fully present with this moment, I can't be checking my phone, watching tv, eating, and parenting all at the same time. Look, I'm sure present moment awareness is amazing, but who can tolerate its inefficiency? Meditation and retreats are a beautiful luxury for hipsters and artsies, but the rest of us don't have time for that! If I'm not doing at least two things at once, there's going to need to be at least two of me in the world to squeeze all my productivity into one 24hr day. Has anybody thought through the economic implications of being single focused?. And how could I possibly consume the media content I enjoy if I'm only doing one thing at a time? Right now as I write this, I have five tabs open on my browser. One tab is playing music from YouTube (I'm really digging Billy Joel's classical music) Two tabs are still open from some shopping I'm doing in between sentences. One tab has my email open. And of course my cell phone will likely go off soon with calls from patients. I am a lean mean multitasking machine because Lord Steve Jobs has created such a wonderful tool. Think of all the limits on production and consumption we would place on ourselves if we stopped doing so many things at once. I don't want to do less. The world needs more of me and I of it. And multitasking is the venue to make that happen. So what if it raises my blood pressure? Isn't being hyper-vigilant worth it?
3. But of all the greatness of mindlessness, the benefit I favour most is the ability it gives me to check-out. If I don't want to be here, I'm really good at being somewhere else. The other day I was watching a YouTube video and one of those ads came on - you know, the one's they don't allow you to skip. It was about orphans in Africa. Truly upsetting, the kind of images that stick in your head and pop back up when you're trying to sleep. But sweet mindlessness came to my rescue. Rather than getting sucked into that super downer ad, I just went somewhere else in my head. Normally I could just check who's endorsed me this week on LinkedIn, but my phone wasn't on the couch and getting up was going to be too much effort. Last week mindlessness let me go on a charity walk to raise money for homeless people without even thinking about homelessness, or noticing the homeless people we probably passed on the walk. Instead I got to tell people about the swanky beach we visited recently.
But I don't just want to check out from boredom, I have bigger things to avoid. So here's my problem with being mindful. It's just too painful. If I'm going to really pay attention to the world around me, I'm going notice that our civilization is a bit of a train wreck. I live in the comfortable part of the world so it's not nearly as messy as the reality some people would have to be present with. But my inner world isn't necessarily a walk on the beach either. If you've read this blog, you might get a sense of how gross and selfish I can be in my heart and mind. Who wants to be present with that? Let's just move along and not spend too much time naval gazing to notice all the dark bits of me that hide out or are unobserved.
And the sadness I feel from listening to people's suffering all day long? No thanks. I'm not going to stick around with that any more than I have to. Give me the sweet distractions of being preoccupied with the super important things like trying to figure out whether the Packers should draft a linebacker or a tight end in the draft next month. There's a reason why people immerse themselves in the awesome worlds of Angry Birds, Bejewelled, Tetris, Minesweeper, and the like - because nobody wants to think about the heavy shit of reality after working all day and being a parent. If I want to feel something, I'll let Netflix take care of it thank you very much. They let me pick what I'm going to feel or not feel. And if I'm going to be disturbed by something like House of Cards (so dark, yet so enticing), Netflix allows me to keep it all in the land of make belief where it's not real. I can even turn it off or switch to something drole if it starts to feel a little too much.
Mindfulness, you're a nice hobby. I'll keep you in my back pocket with Yoga and prayer for when things get tough and I need a tool to help me get through.
Mindlessness, you're still my go-to gal. We make a great team in living the life everyone tells me I'm supposed to live. You keep me multitasking and distracted in a world of pain and chaos. You help me be the kind of producer and consumer that keeps the economy ticking along. Besides, after all these years together, how could I leave you now? A mindless life is so normal, so comfortable, so familiar. Yeah there are big problems in world, but why would I think I'm so important that I should try to do anything about them? There are lots of other more talented people who can take care of it. Me, I'll just keep my nose down, my iPod on, and multiple tabs open on my browser. It's easier that way. Don't fight it. Just go with the sweet mindless flow.
Mindfulness is all the rage these days. It seems everywhere you turn you'll hear about it.
I've tried being mindful, and I admit there are perks. But I think we need to stop being so hard on mindlessness, it has its benefits too. Being mostly unaware and not paying attention to what's going on around you can really pay off. Besides, it's just too much work to be mindful. How can anything good require that much practice or dedication?
And maybe I'm the only one who feels this way, but....
I like being distracted.
I like not being present.
The past and the future can be such pleasant escapes from the terrible present moment.
Maybe I don't want to be here, in this moment okay? Maybe this moment sucks compared to what happened two weeks ago when I was on vacation, or next week when I bite into a juicy steak. Is it really so bad if I escape the boredom of everyday life by checking out, and playing a mindless game on my cell phone instead?
Now some of you might be taking me for a fool - but think about this - when you try to be fully present what happens? Exactly, you find your mind wandering off to someplace else. Maybe it's because this moment really isn't so grand after all? Why don't we just give our minds what they want: permission to wander wherever they see fit rather than always trying to bring our attention back to stupid things like breathing and body sensations and the eternal "now".
Instead of getting so caught up in the gifts of the present, let's think just for a moment about all the bounty that comes with being mindless.
So here are the gifts of not being present. With a little fanfare I now present to you: "the gifts of mindlessness".
1. Being mindless allows me to consume more. Have you ever tried eating slowly and paying attention to your food? Yikes, I can only eat half of what I normally stuff down my gut. How am I supposed to make it to dessert if I'm too full from the entree because I was too busy savouring the bites in my mouth? As Lenin once said, "quantity has a quality all it's own". Or, as the glorious chefs at Hungry Man TV dinners claim, "it's good to be full". I appreciate that some prefer small bits that are savoured, but let's not forget how pleasant and powerful gluttony can feel. If I was just eating to survive, or even just for the pleasure of the food itself, I can see how mindfulness would be helpful. But I'm a North American, and lots of my choices are expressions of my power and privilege. I eat and I waste to prove to myself and others just how rich and powerful I am. Gluttony is an affirmation of my superiority and dominance over the poor and disenfranchised. If I want to drive a Hummer to show everyone that excessive burning of fossil fuels is my privilege, than so be it. Someday when you have access to more credit than is good for you, you can choose to be wasteful too. Remember what our world leaders said when the economies crashed in 2008? Go shopping. Consume. Spend money. We have a culture based on consumption and waste. If we start paying attention and valuing what we have, bad things are going to happen. It's just not patriotic to think too much about this kind of thing. And all this talk of paying attention is a big barrier to my thoughtless exploitation of the world's resources and people.
2. Mindlessness gives us the ability to multitask. If I have to be fully present with this moment, I can't be checking my phone, watching tv, eating, and parenting all at the same time. Look, I'm sure present moment awareness is amazing, but who can tolerate its inefficiency? Meditation and retreats are a beautiful luxury for hipsters and artsies, but the rest of us don't have time for that! If I'm not doing at least two things at once, there's going to need to be at least two of me in the world to squeeze all my productivity into one 24hr day. Has anybody thought through the economic implications of being single focused?. And how could I possibly consume the media content I enjoy if I'm only doing one thing at a time? Right now as I write this, I have five tabs open on my browser. One tab is playing music from YouTube (I'm really digging Billy Joel's classical music) Two tabs are still open from some shopping I'm doing in between sentences. One tab has my email open. And of course my cell phone will likely go off soon with calls from patients. I am a lean mean multitasking machine because Lord Steve Jobs has created such a wonderful tool. Think of all the limits on production and consumption we would place on ourselves if we stopped doing so many things at once. I don't want to do less. The world needs more of me and I of it. And multitasking is the venue to make that happen. So what if it raises my blood pressure? Isn't being hyper-vigilant worth it?
3. But of all the greatness of mindlessness, the benefit I favour most is the ability it gives me to check-out. If I don't want to be here, I'm really good at being somewhere else. The other day I was watching a YouTube video and one of those ads came on - you know, the one's they don't allow you to skip. It was about orphans in Africa. Truly upsetting, the kind of images that stick in your head and pop back up when you're trying to sleep. But sweet mindlessness came to my rescue. Rather than getting sucked into that super downer ad, I just went somewhere else in my head. Normally I could just check who's endorsed me this week on LinkedIn, but my phone wasn't on the couch and getting up was going to be too much effort. Last week mindlessness let me go on a charity walk to raise money for homeless people without even thinking about homelessness, or noticing the homeless people we probably passed on the walk. Instead I got to tell people about the swanky beach we visited recently.
But I don't just want to check out from boredom, I have bigger things to avoid. So here's my problem with being mindful. It's just too painful. If I'm going to really pay attention to the world around me, I'm going notice that our civilization is a bit of a train wreck. I live in the comfortable part of the world so it's not nearly as messy as the reality some people would have to be present with. But my inner world isn't necessarily a walk on the beach either. If you've read this blog, you might get a sense of how gross and selfish I can be in my heart and mind. Who wants to be present with that? Let's just move along and not spend too much time naval gazing to notice all the dark bits of me that hide out or are unobserved.
And the sadness I feel from listening to people's suffering all day long? No thanks. I'm not going to stick around with that any more than I have to. Give me the sweet distractions of being preoccupied with the super important things like trying to figure out whether the Packers should draft a linebacker or a tight end in the draft next month. There's a reason why people immerse themselves in the awesome worlds of Angry Birds, Bejewelled, Tetris, Minesweeper, and the like - because nobody wants to think about the heavy shit of reality after working all day and being a parent. If I want to feel something, I'll let Netflix take care of it thank you very much. They let me pick what I'm going to feel or not feel. And if I'm going to be disturbed by something like House of Cards (so dark, yet so enticing), Netflix allows me to keep it all in the land of make belief where it's not real. I can even turn it off or switch to something drole if it starts to feel a little too much.
Mindfulness, you're a nice hobby. I'll keep you in my back pocket with Yoga and prayer for when things get tough and I need a tool to help me get through.
Mindlessness, you're still my go-to gal. We make a great team in living the life everyone tells me I'm supposed to live. You keep me multitasking and distracted in a world of pain and chaos. You help me be the kind of producer and consumer that keeps the economy ticking along. Besides, after all these years together, how could I leave you now? A mindless life is so normal, so comfortable, so familiar. Yeah there are big problems in world, but why would I think I'm so important that I should try to do anything about them? There are lots of other more talented people who can take care of it. Me, I'll just keep my nose down, my iPod on, and multiple tabs open on my browser. It's easier that way. Don't fight it. Just go with the sweet mindless flow.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)