Reluctant To Write

Why start a blog?

One friend made fun of me. "It's not 1998", he said, insinuating that I was 14 years behind and that the world had moved on.

Another was glad that I'd finally stuck my oar in the water. He thought I might have something worth writing about, and this might be a good first step.

I write with reluctance.

For one thing, I sort of hate drawing any attention to myself, so maybe I'll just keep this a secret.

When I sit down to write a cavalcade of thoughts comes rushing in...."why would anyone read this", "why would I think anyone would want to read this",... "writing is such a public committment to ideas...do you really believe anything so consistently or strongly that you want others to read it?",... "you don't believe what you're writing",.... "what will people think if you write that?".....and on and on it goes.

And yet, for years, I've felt compelled to write, but avoided it as often as I can.

I used to have fantasies of being a published author. A lot of the people I admire have written really interesting books. And I know that the written word has played a critical role in my own life and growth. Books, articles, blogs, they've been a catalyst for this transformation that has taken place in my life over the past few years.

Maybe there's a part of me that wants to tap into that. A hope that written words, that honest reflection and thinking could be useful in someone else's journey.

At the very least, it seems helpful to me. The act of writing seems to force me to be clear, to shake the cobwebs off my thoughts, so to speak.

So, I'll try it. The writing isn't the hardest part yet. The real risk comes with telling people about it.