Camels and Needles

My wife and I have been trying to be more generous in the last few years. It’s hard to criticize that, especially since our generousity has at times required sacrifice. We’ve tried to be more free towards others with our financial resources, our time, our energy...and I can’t deny that it feels good.

But generosity has a dark side.

The dark side of it is based on a lie, and that lie is that anything belongs to me to begin with.

Being generous, can make me believe that I'm a good person for giving away things that I don't actually possess or have any right to lay claim to.

You can think of this in practical or existential terms - when I die nothing is mine anymore anyway, so possession is just a socio-legal construct (a no doubt valid and helpful one) that I hold on to during my living years.

A few years ago we received a phone call from my grandmother’s nursing home that she was dead. We were instructed that we had 24 hours to remove all of her things or else they would be dumped. In the process of deciding what was “worth” keeping, I had this odd sense that even up until the previous day, these were her things, some of which she treasured. But now, with her gone from her body, she had no need of them, no claim to them, and no concern for them. It placed into perspective that stockpile of "treasures" in my own basement, and what efforts I might have gone about to accumulate them.

In our denial about death, we often live in denial about the impermanence of physical things.

You can think of this from a Buddhist perspective - attachments are illusions because the idea of our permanence is an illusion as well. In fact the Buddha taught that our freedom from suffering was to found in overcoming these particular illusions and letting go of these attachments.

Christian tradition has long recognized that the discipline of giving, even to the point of choosing poverty, is an opportunity to break our grasping, our holding on to things, that are never really ours to begin with.

Where Jesus and Buddha part ways, is that Jesus teaches very clearly about some things being permanent or "eternal", and that when we clear away the illusions of our attachments to the physical world, what we experience is a truer, more amazing reality.

Consider this rather troubling passage from Matthew 19 and keep in mind that we often do a great disservice to this teaching by breaking it up and separating it from its whole.

16 Now behold, one came and said to Him, “Good Teacher, what good thing shall I do that I may have eternal life?”

17 So He said to him, “Why do you call Me good? No one is good but One, that is, God. But if you want to enter into life, keep the commandments.”

18 He said to Him, “Which ones?”

Jesus said, “ ‘You shall not murder,’ ‘You shall not commit adultery,’ ‘You shall not steal,’ ‘You shall not bear false witness,’ 19 ‘Honor your father and your mother,’ and, ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’”

20 The young man said to Him, “All these things I have kept from my youth. What do I still lack?”

21 Jesus said to him, “If you want to be perfect, go, sell what you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow Me.”

22 But when the young man heard that saying, he went away sorrowful, for he had great possessions.

23 Then Jesus said to His disciples, “Assuredly, I say to you that it is hard for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven. 24 And again I say to you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God.”

25 When His disciples heard it, they were greatly astonished, saying, “Who then can be saved?”

26 But Jesus looked at them and said to them, “With men this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”

27 Then Peter answered and said to Him, “See, we have left all and followed You. Therefore what shall we have?”

28 So Jesus said to them, “Assuredly I say to you, that in the regeneration, when the Son of Man sits on the throne of His glory, you who have followed Me will also sit on twelve thrones, judging the twelve tribes of Israel. 29 And everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or wife[k] or children or lands, for My name’s sake, shall receive a hundredfold, and inherit eternal life. 30 But many who are first will be last, and the last first.

In verses 27 to 30, the disciples ask what they’ll get for giving up everything to follow Jesus – and He’s sort of vague about it, but he talks about “a hundredfold”, “eternal life” and joining Jesus in judging the rest of the world. I think the fact that he’s non-specific, and doesn’t promise 72 virgins, might suggest that what we find in giving up all, is something we can’t completely wrap our heads around….but it certainly seems to involve being a part of this “kingdom of God/heaven” that Jesus is constantly referring to.

I’ve long found this a challenging passage, not knowing quite how to take it. I’ve heard people argue that Jesus is giving a universal command that we should all sell our goods, own nothing, and give everything we have to the poor. It just never really reconciled with the full breadth of Jesus’ teaching for me to accept this, and the older I get, the more I think Jesus has very few universal “do this” kinds of statements, and speaks to individuals and groups without setting a lot of hard and fast rules. (I'm get going to get letters for this aren't I?)

But as I read further in the passage in its totality, something occurred to me – Camels can go through eyes of needles. Lots of times that little promise of v26 gets ripped out of the passage and considered separately. But read the flow of the conversation.

Jesus is telling them that the impossible thing - camels going through eyes of needles is possible. Rich people can get in too.

He's saying that for all the difficulty the wealthy have entering into the life of the kingdom, they can do it. You don’t have to be poor to be with Jesus. If you acknowledge that just by living in North America you probably are in the wealthiest 2% of people on the planet - this thing Jesus is saying is very very good news.

So why does he suggest to this particular individual in Matt 19 that he should sell everything? I think Jesus sees this man’s heart, and knows that this is exactly what this particular person needs to do to free himself from affection he has for his wealth and his stuff. The writers of Matthew seem to make this point when they comment about him leaving the encounter sorrowful – they’re telling us that he loved his possessions so much that when Jesus tells him he can enter eternal life if he gives them up, he mourns. As outsiders it seems stupid. Seriously, Jesus himelf is telling you what to do to experience the greatest most fulfilling life (which he clearly hasn’t because he’s telling us about how fulfilling the law hasn’t gotten him where he wants) and he is sad?

But there’s something else amazing here – Jesus is telling someone that living according to the laws is not enough to enter eternal life. To his Jewish audience – this is a radical, perhaps heretical idea. The law isn’t enough? Being good, loving God, loving others, being generous?….those are not enough to find eternal life?

I think Jesus is talking directly to me here – he’s saying, that if my heart is holding on to my stuff, if my mind is remaining convinced that these things are mine to begin with, that I will still not be able to fully experience the kingdom.

Maybe I’m needing to give it all away. Maybe that’s the discipline that will break my ill placed affections, or even my delusions that any of this stuff actually belongs to me.

Before I jump to that, I recognize that I could give it all away and still hold on to it in my heart. I’ve seen people take on voluntary poverty with a bitterness that speaks to the fact that they’re still holding on to the things they thought they’d given up. And I think that’s why Jesus doesn’t universally prescribe voluntary poverty for his followers – He knows that we can mess that up too, that what ultimately matters is the relationship of our hearts to the things we think we possess.

So I started to think – what is the discipline of giving able to do in my life to promote, but not be a substitute for the change of heart that needs to happen in my relationship to things? I think I need more than generosity, I need to give people access to things I cling to, as a way of learning not to cling so hard to them.

So I made a list of things I’m going to start with – things other people in the community can take and use. I’m not suggesting that we dispose of the civil laws about ownership – they play a useful role in a broken world. Nor am I suggesting that we be negligent and give up our role of being stewards in charge of things. I may need to be reminded that my children are not mine to possess – but that doesn’t mean they aren’t my primary responsibility to protect and nurture.

And there, it happens.

A rich man (me) begins to enter the kingdom of God by deliberately choosing to stop clinging to, to stop loving things that could never be his to begin with.

A camel goes through the eye of a needle.

God moves in us….and the seemingly impossible, becomes possible. What’s harder than a camel going through the eye of a needle? A rich man entering the kingdom. Can a rich man enter the kingdom? Well, I’m on my way.